Melvin is still in bed. I kiss him, he wakes and asks, "What are you doing home?" I tell him I have given them my letter of resignation, then I go about calling the retirement association, social security and US Steel. Melvin asks if I am going back to work, and I tell him no. He says, stop all that and come back to bed. We go back to sleep and around 10:00 he wakes me to breakfast in bed. Afterward he runs some errands and I sleep, still can't get enough sleep.
While he is out I keep searching the house for something dead or dying, I can smell it. When Melvin comes home I have him look and smell around the house, but he can find nothing, nor smell the scent. The smell is most profound under the portrait of my great grandmother. Since she went to Heaven, she has always found a way to fore warn me of things she thinks I should know. Usually I can smell her or she'll come in a dream, but this time the smell of death is at her feet.
Melvin finally nestled himself into his favorite chair in our bedroom. He asked me to fix him a plate of dinner from Sunday. While he eats and readies himself to watch American Idol I talk to my mother on the phone. I tell her about the smell too. After talking to her for about 30 minutes I go into the bedroom and comment to my mother that my man is sleeping, sitting up in his chair and he has never done this before. I told her I had to get off the phone and see about my man. I nudge him and he wakes. He has the most peaceful look on his face and a loving smile. His eyes seem to have turned to a shimmering amber tone. I had also noticed that for the past few months his head, when I kissed it, smelled sweet like a babies. His hands smelled of his cologne all day, no matter what he touched or cooked. That amazed me. It was as if he wasn't real.
We watched Idol and then discussed what I would do next. He knew I wouldn't be able to sit at home long and we talked about our cruise for Thanksgiving. We laughed and played the rest of the evening. The entire night was jovial. I felt a peace I hadn't felt in a long time after making the decision to resign.
Without asking, Melvin told me a story. It was about the beautiful woman he loved so much. At the end of the story he started singing The Impossible Dream, he was singing the words wrong, so I chimed in and started singing. I was in his arms, my back to his front so I couldn't see him giving me the CUT sign to stop singing so he finally said it, "Poo cut!" We laughed so hard. We always laughed hard together. That's how we went to sleep, me in his arms and us laughing.
The Impossible Dream
To dream, the impossible dream,
to fight the unbeatable foe
to bear with unbearable sorrow,
to run where, the brave dare not go.
To right, the unrightable wrong,
To love, here and chased from afar,
to tr,y when your arms are too weary,
To reach the unreachable star.
This is my quest,
to follow that star,
no matter how hopeless,
no matter how far.
To fight for the right,
without question or pause.
To be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause
and I know, it thou'll only be true,
to this glorious quest
that my heart will lie peaceful and calm
till I'm laid to my rest.
And the world will be better for this,
that one man scorned and covered with scares
still strong with his last once of courage,
To reach, oh to reach, to reach the unreachable star.
tomorrow in the morning ...
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