He believed in me

My father raised my brother and I to be fearless. This meant not being afraid to attempt any feat or stand before any person, place or thing; learn from it, challenge it, conquer it, make your own and move on. We both mastered the concept. When we were children, if my dad said, "Go in the kitchen and make a cake." You couldn't come back to him and say, "I don't be know how, what should I do?" If you can think, read and calculate, nothing is impossible.
I love a challenge, but my flaw, I require reassurance. My dad told me a few years ago that whenever I embarked on something new, once I started it I would turn to him for confirmation that I was on the right track, reinforcement; to be cheered on; a pinch of input and I would be on my way.

That's what I miss from Melvin. In his mind and eyes there was nothing I couldn't do.

• When I came home from teaching in the classroom crying, "I want to do more for the children." He said, "Go back to school and get your masters, you'd be a good little counselor.
• When he had fix it projects at home and he asked for my help he would say, "Kee, you a good little helper."
• When I was insecure about disciplining the boys when they were little because I wasn't their biological mother he'd say, "You discipline the children at school, you don't love these God gave you enough to do the same?"
• When I was undecided about leading a high school as a principal, he said, "Poo you can do it, just be yourself and it doesn't matter if they don't like you as long and they respect you and follow your leadership."
• When I was very ill, he held my hand and my heart and never left my side.
• When I couldn't sleep at night, because of the ideas I had in my mind for work, he set up a desk next to my side of the bed. ( he got tired of me waking him up in the middle of the night:-))
• When he left for heaven he left all the tools I would need to tinker about the house, i.e cleaning supplies, caulking, exacto blades, etc, new, in unopened packaging. Not having these items when I need them frustrates me to tears).

Melvin believed in me. Not that I don't believe in myself, I do, but to me there is nothing sweeter than knowing when you battle the beast, someones unconditional love has your back. His love was a place of refuge and solace without criticism or judgement. "If you got it wrong today, you can try again tomorrow."
I couldn't help but succeed.

Tomorrow...